On Transformation through Thoughts – You have more power than you think!

“She knew the power of her mind and so programmed it for success.”Carrie Green

I saw a Facebook post from my good friend Michele and it inspired me to write a blog. I haven’t felt inspired to write in a while.

There is so much truth to this quote.

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the word “woke”. Back in 2008 I don’t remember what I googled, but I fell into a rabbit hole of reading about what the end of the Mayan long calendar meant in 2012.

There were all kind of end of the world predictions. There were also some spiritual explanations that were ever so slightly hokey, but something about those explanations felt right. Have you ever heard or read something that spoke truth to you down to a cellular level, where you knew in your core there was veracity to it?

The spiritual predictions said in 2012 there would be a mass spiritual awakening for many humans. People would start to look at the world in a different way and realize immutable truths that were otherwise hidden in plain site before.

I closed the browser that day and enjoyed the life I built at work and at home, although there was always a little bit of a nagging feeling that something was missing.

4 years later when 2012 arrived I was in a new marriage with a larger family and despite the unbelievable love I had for my new family, there were equally unnecessary struggles with the adaptation of the new situation. So much so I was experiencing anxiety at levels that I’m sure was doing irreversible harm to my body.

And then oddly, a series of trainings, books and podcasts just happened to come my way. They were eye opening and in a few months I had radically shifted the way I saw the world. An absolutely new world opened up to me where I understood how our minds and brains work. How what I was doing and “striving” for was not the key to happiness.

That is what the term “Woke” has meant to me until 2020 today when I heard it used in the way most use it now.

True happiness does not come from things, vacations, relationships or experiences. True happiness comes from the way we choose to see the world. 

It’s that simple.It doesn’t sound possible to a scientifically minded left brain. But when I let go and allowed myself to be turned over to the will of the universe, the answers came to me, just as the Bible and other ancient texts promised.


Knowing was great! But remembering and using the principles were not a habit yet formed. It’s a lot easier said than done. 10 years later and I’m at a place where I remember more than I forget. It’s hard!!
So how do you just change the way you see the world & why does that make a difference in your life?

What do words and “spells” have to do with it? A simple way to put it is that every single thing in our universe has a vibrational frequency. Even thoughts.


Vibrations attract other vibrations.
You can’t see or experience something in a vibration that you are not aligned with. The same way we can’t hear a dog whistle or see ultraviolet rays. Humans do not have any senses that vibrate at those levels.


Also the whole universe works in the same way life in that it is manifested through various mixes of the five elements.


From densest to lightest (also lower to higher in frequency) those elements are:

Earth

Water

Fire

Air

Ether


A seed goes into the dirt and the dirt doesn’t care if it’s a watermelon seed or a carrot seed. Given the right conditions and mix of elements, that seed will grow into what it was intended to be.


The seed has potential and a code (watermelon/carrot/hydrangea). That code is the vibration or the intention- the thing with a lot of power that we cannot see.

The dirt is the womb that holds and brings that seed to fruition.

The other elements play a role too – air (wind), water, and fire (sun). The way they all mix will determine if and how that seed reaches its potential.Animal and human life is created the same way.


And so it’s said is the manifestation of everything else.

It’s not the situation that’s causing your stress, it’s your thoughts, and you can change that right here and now. You can choose to be peaceful right here and now. Peace is a choice, and it has nothing to do with what other people do or think.”Gerald G. Jampolsky, MD

Thoughts are like seeds and our mind is the womb in which they grow. We manifest what we think either intentionally or unintentionally. The mind doesn’t know or care if it’s a watermelon seed or pansy seed, it just nurtures the magic code in it to life.

That is why it is so important to be mindful of your thoughts. That isn’t easy without practice. The practice of meditation is one of the most helpful ways to remember to monitor your thoughts off the ‘mat’ too.

BUT- and this is a biggie, all thoughts have a vibrational frequency and even if you think you are manifesting something you want, if the intention behind it is not something you would want in your own life, you will get just what you asked for.


Huh???


You want money maybe. You put that thought in your mind and wait. But you don’t get it, you get the same life you have been living. “This crap doesn’t work” you say. It won’t if your intentions are not clear or different from the way you live now. The intention (potential like the code or ether in the seed) is what really matters.


What is the intention behind the desire for money? Is it to buy food and just survive? Is it to get drugs to get high? Is it to buy a big house or fancy car and ignore those who have nothing? Or is it to do good in the world? Is it a mix?


You will get what you intend. Like the line in The Lords Prayer “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. When you don’t forgive you will not be forgiven.


When you want something that will be harmful to others, you will in some way be harmed. When you just want to get by, you will get that. If you want to make a difference in the world and do good, opportunities will come your way to do that. Your vibration will attract similar vibrations.

We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are. Anais Nin.


It’s not things we can manifest (car, money, house), we manifest our intentions. Whether we think them through or not- “Who’s head do I need to trample to get a raise and buy the new car?” Or “Who should I put down to feel better about myself?”. You will experience that which you wish. You may get the car, but you will not be happy very long because something equally as uncaring in the way it was obtained will happen to you and you ultimately will not enjoy that car.

You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.”Marianne Williamson


The last piece to this is spoken word. Words have more power than thoughts. That is why chanting is so powerful. I’ve written about mantra before and why Sanskrit (which is not a spoken language) is used. It’s so the intention of the mantra stays clear without your own individual bias on what a word means being accidentally inflected into what you are asking for.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word.”

John 1:1

Before the universe, before the Big Bang, there was something immensely powerful all balled up and ready to explode. It had within it the intention of the entire universe- like a seed. When the bang happened and the universe began to spread out, the same law of seed, dirt and conditions were applied to all that were in that pre-explosion dense inject. The Christian bible uses God as the activator, but whatever higher power you believe in (could just be the universe itself), when this power made the decision to come into being and gave the command (spoke the “word”), action followed. Whatever it is you believe in, it really is the word.

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” Pearl Strachan Hurd

There is a very scary truth to that line. Being mindful of what you say begins with being mindful of what you think. It’s easier said than done. It takes practice to catch yourself and be sure to keep replacing your thoughts with things you want to see and experience. Things that will do no harm.

Meditation is a great practice. Before you think “My mind can’t meditate, it doesn’t work for me”, consider this:

Just by being quiet you will very quickly hear what is going on in your mind. As things come up, contemplate if it’s a thought you want, a thought that does no harm, or a thought that is positive and uplifting. I promise a moment later you will forget and your mind will take over with either the same old thought or something new. It’s normal and the human condition, it’s not you . Your mind will keep chattering, but try to keep interrupting it. Keep asking yourself if that’s a keeper thought or if it should be plucked out like a weed. 5 minutes of meditation a day is a good start because that practice will help you to notice what repetitive string of thoughts come up the rest of the day that will either serve or not serve you. Keep at it. It takes very little work but the pay off is the life you want. It’s not a miracle, you have to practice it. Only with time will it work.

That is what it means to Wake Up. To be aware of yourself, your thoughts & your intentions, and not asleep at the wheel.

Words: So innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.” Nathaniel Hawthorne

So be “Woke” and change your life ☺️

Chinese New Year and the Magic of Your Thoughts

Last year right around this time a trip to the post office may have changed my life.

I was online and noticed a sign for stamps celebrating Chinese New Year. I picked up my phone to look up the date. Friday, February 12, 2021. I wondered why Chinese New Year wasn’t based on the calendar. 

Later, at home, I popped that very question into Google. I learned Chinese New Year was based on the new moon and I read quite a bit about the traditions and celebration.

Still, I wondered – Why this time of year

A few days later during my morning meditation routine I had some interesting thoughts. 

This time last year I set an intention during my morning meditation to quit drinking. I would do some EFT (tapping) and imagine burning up the energies getting in the way of doing so.

For the New Year of 2021 I placed a Shiva statue on my meditation table and switched my daily mala mantra to “Om Namah Shivaya”. I also placed a wooden sign I painted above the door frame of my meditation space with this same mantra.

Each morning felt fresh and new. I optimistically thought “Today is the day I don’t drink”. By mid-day I’d decide to drink, but that would be the last day. It was a futile merry go round and I couldn’t seem to make it stop and find where the exit back into the amusement park was.

I needed a push. I chose Shiva for that push. Stick with me about why… 

In yoga teacher training I learned a little about Hinduism and the 3 main deities of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. They are the Creator, Sustainer, and Destroyer. In Ayruveda they can be likened to Spring, Summer and Fall/Winter. 

Shiva destroys the season of summer each year and ushers in Fall, then Winter. At some point Brahma takes over and creation starts over. Spring begins. Simple enough concept. 

This particular morning of 2/8 on my meditation cushion, I looked up at this piece I created in 2019.  It may literally look like “Chinese” to anyone but me – however; it represents my own conglomeration of beliefs/knowledge regarding Taoism, Hinduism, Ayurveda, the seasons, the directions of the earth, time, and the color wheel. 

I thought about Shiva and my question of why Chinese New Years falls during this time of year.

And while looking at my art I saw how I incorporated the 3 primary colors with the 3 Ayurvedic doshas into 4 seasons. 

Was there is a distinct point in which Spring really begins and Winter ends? A time when Shiva’s work ends and Brahma’s begins? How could it not be at this very time of year? 

While the ground is frozen and the leaves are long gone, it’s only 3 or so weeks away from crocuses coming up. Clearly flowers can’t pop up above ground without some underground work below right?

Buds are already on the trees at the Equinox. 

Mother Nature silently begins her work as the days become noticeably longer but it’s still very much winter. 

She must start around now. And why not with a mid-winter New Moon? Seems like good timing to me! Perhaps that is when the bulk of Shiva’s work is “done” for the season. 

Still with my conglomerate story? 

Shiva is a “destroyer” but simultaneously/alternatively known as a change agent or transformer. When Shiva is involved, it is apparent.

In this famous statue, Shiva is shown dancing. He is known as the cosmic dancer. Stomping and keeping the beat of the universe moving. The stomping and dancing represent moving things along, transforming life and matter, keeping it all going and preventing it all from being stuck. 

It’s why I was meditating and attempting to tap into this energy.

Side Note: In Christianity – Do you know who else is known as the Lord of the Dance?

This particular Monday morning of 2/8 I lamented on how another weekend went by and I did not stop drinking. Chinese New Year was that Friday 2/12. A new start, a new beginning. I would stop by that Friday with the Chinese New Year NO MATTER WHAT.  

I went through my morning routine: meditate, tap, mantra; with the strong intention of quitting the drink woven in.  

Be careful what you wish for. And even more importantly how you wish for it. 

That Friday did not arrive, at least not in the way I had planned. I wanted to stop by then and by golly some forces came in like a lion and made darn good certain that by Friday I was not to be drinking.

I drank that Monday. Forces were with me. There were four very irritating things taking place around me; four really tough things that would irritate and worry just about anyone.

Did I face them? No I didn’t. I drank instead. 

So what happened?

I lost my mind. I had a strong and violent PTSD episode. It wasn’t the first time. I had a lovely trip to the Emergency Room until the wee hours of the night because I was simply unable to stop hyperventilating in an elevated panic attack. 

It was on a gurney in the middle of the night on the morning of 2/9/21 at Yale New Haven Hospital, by myself. In the middle of a pandemic with a mask on and the future unknown in every way. 

I KNEW what had happened wouldn’t have happened if I did not drink. I couldn’t drink anymore. There can’t be any more “tomorrows” when I’ll quit. It had to happen now. Not Friday. NOW. I looked up a service I kept seeing on TV during my soap opera where they come into your home to help you with addiction issues. I put in a request for information and I began enrollment the next day.

The next few days and weeks were an absolute mess. I made a mess of my life. I didn’t live in my house again until April. My husband and I didn’t live together again until June. 

It was the worst of times.

It was the best of times. 

I prayed for a Shiva-like intervention. A Shiva like intervention is what I got.

It’s not how I would have imagined I’d get there, but it happened.

I don’t know if anything else would have given me pause to really self-reflect and evaluate where I was in my life, how I’d gotten there, and to really acknowledge and own the mistakes I made along with way.  

I knew the moment I made the absolute decision to quit that no matter what came next, things would be better even if everything fell apart and my future life would be unrecognizable. 

“All of these things make me who I am”

On the one hand my whole life, every decision I made and experiences I lived through led me to where I was (the bottle). On the other hand, in trying to quit and going to therapy and learning about PTSD with the intention to become a better person for the prior 10+ years; I felt I had been training for this moment for a long time. 

I’d learned and understood deeply before then that life goes on and everything happens for a reason. I learned how to meditate and breath through it. I knew where to look for resources, who in my life would be helpful, how to fall asleep in the face of pain and how to channel the influx of both good and bad overwhelming energy into something creative. 

I knew from mistakes past that I had to stop and rest when my body called for it. I knew I had to forgive myself when I really took the veil off about how I had hurt others. While it hurt to know, see and feel this pain, I knew ultimately it was ok because I had faith and know my creator doesn’t make mistakes. I was not supposed to be in any other place in space or time other than where I was.

It wasn’t AS easy as I am writing it out to sound. But it was easier than I thought. I knew no matter what happened that I would be ok, and eventually even better. I had preferences on what I would have liked and put the intentions out there. But I was careful to also put out the intention to accept whatever did happen, especially if it is ultimately for my own good.

Good things happened to a handful of others in my immediate circle as well. Based on some of the realizations and choices I made, others were able to ultimately respond to me in healthier ways and evaluate themselves with a new set of eyes.

If I expanded what I just wrote to those I have met in the past year from various recovery avenues; I have been unbelievably inspired and have been told that I have inspired many others too.

While not quite a picnic, everything that transpired put me and my loved ones in a more enlightened and accepting place. 

There are some folks in my outer circle who might not see it that way, but I trust in the powers that be that if those individuals were willing to look, there is a gem in there for them to uncover as well. Something we were meant to bump into one another for to better ourselves and each other in some form.

The Coelho’s The Alchemist, the boy searches the world for the treasure, only to learn it’s been within the whole time. One of my favorite lines from that book is: 

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” 
 Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Thank you Shiva? 

However, the universe will not give you what you want directly. It will provide for you the intention that you have behind that desire. 

If your intentions are less than desirable, selfish, or towards only your kind/posse/etc, that will come to you just as it was put out. The Lord’s Prayer tells us this in the line: 

“And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. 

You will only get from the universe what you give. 

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.” 
 Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

If you strive to become better – and your intentions are pure, you will see how clearly this plays out and notice how you are creating your own life with your own thoughts. 

It’s TRICKY. Pure doesn’t mean “I want to be rich”. Being rich means someone else loses or you have more than others. That isn’t pure and even if it happens, it will not manifest in ways that feel good. 

While tricky, little can go wrong if you are good and have respectable intentions. Also, it is important to be and be clear about what you want, because as you vacillate the universe is equally vacillating in giving it to you. 

I learned a lot this past year. Especially how I can enjoy life more by controlling my thinking which is so much easier when it is never clouded by alcohol. 

My life is different, but you’d hardly notice. Good and bad things can and will always happen. But it has been easier as I learn and remember to accept what is and I’m not pining and wishing for it to be any different. 

While I still may instinctively want things another way – I need to know that I really don’t want it any other way. What happens as my response to it – that is ALL on me. 

Namaste. 

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